Don Steffanson
The Concise Guide to Great Sex: Part 6 - After-play and EmbracingRead the previous installments here: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3A Part 3B Part 3C Part 4 Part 5 So you banged. Now what? First things first: high-five each other. Kidding, but of course, have at it if you wish to. There are a million and one things you can do after having sex. Nothing is mandatory. Here are our suggestions with respect to awesome post-coitus activities. Hit the Bathroom No need to do this right away, but if you've ever had a UTI (urinary tract infection), you may want to do this immediately. Relieving yourself will clean out all your love-pipes and ensure that no fluids sit there for too long. If this happens, it can cause bacteria to multiply and make for an unpleasant time later. On another note, supplementing with Cranberry Extract can act as a preventative measure and remedy if you find yourself with a UTI or are prone to getting them. Talk (A.K.A. Pillow Talk) We get it. Some people don't like intimate conversation after sex when hormones and cuddle-chemicals are at an all-time high. That's fine. Discussing your emotions isn't necessary. It's only one option of a limitless supply of topics available. However, it will be our first suggestion below as sex and intimacy are intricately related... Talk About Dem Feels Both (or more!) of you just experienced an explosive high of feel-good chemicals. A mixture of neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin, coupled with hormones such as testosterone and oxytocin, will be flowing rampantly through your brain and bloodstream. It's not by accident that these kinds of conversations occur right after intimacy. Love it or hate it, your body and your lover's body will be flooded with these neurochemicals. If you've ever wondered why those 'fuck-buddy' relationships turn romantic, wonder no more. Any conversation regarding the relationship between you and your lover will be right at home during this time. It will feel like the best time in the world to enjoy each other's company, discuss the future, and confess your ooey-gooey emotions. As we said, we get that not everyone wants an intimate conversation and just wants to have sexual pleasure. Yet, even if a conversation has already happened regarding a non-romantic sexual agreement, biology will not cooperate. Don't get us wrong here, there are always exceptions to this fact of nature. We're simply 'telling you how it is.' So if you do desire an emotional conversation after sex, it is a great time to have one! And if you don't want one, well, it may unfortunately come up anyway. Check-in What better time to see how your partner is doing than after a nice romp? Ask them if they're comfy, what they're in the mood to do, and see how they're doing. You'll be able to listen to how their day went with big, dumb smile on your face. Complement Riding off the post-sex afterglow, any compliments you give immediately after copulation will be well received. All that oxytocin will make even the simplest of remarks seem all the more meaningful. Get Deep Don't worry, we're not repeating ourselves again. We don't mean sharing your emotions here. By deep, we mean to have a meaningful conversation about any topic--but not necessarily regarding intimacy. In other words, discuss the nature of life, ponder a philosophical question, or playfully debate an issue either of you feels passionately about--nutrition, politics (careful with this one), economics, writing, cooking--the world is your oyster! Get Technical We're not referring to sex toy maintenance. But you can do that too. We're referring to a productive conversation with regards to your sexual performance. What went well? What positions did you guys like? What should you try next time? Should you buy a sex toy for your next encounter? Wink wink. Or, perhaps, have a tab open to Sex Info 101 to give something new a go? Kiss Sometimes after some hot and heavy slammin', you just want to slowly kiss or passionately make out as you ride out the high. Post-climax is a great time to do so. Sometimes after orgasm, some will find this unappealing and not very sexy, other times, your lover will have never tasted so good. Cuddle This will probably happen without conscious awareness of it. You finish up, rollover, and naturally entwine yourself with your naked lover. Feelsgoodman. Shower and/or Massage Sometimes sex is messy. Okay, a lot of the time. To continue the fun, nothing screams romance more than jumping into a hot, steamy shower and rubbing each other down. In addition, a massage after an orgasm is an excellent way to wind down the play. During your orgasm, all your muscles tense up, contract, and then finally relax as you climax and all the tension is released from your body. While typically a weapon in the 'foreplay arsenal,' a massage can feel fantastic because of the above. This can be done standing in the shower or laying down in bed. If you want to add a little spice to those hands, we recommend this lotion alongside our favorite topical for everything: Extra Virgin Coconut Oil. Prepare Refreshments A very versatile activity, which can vary depending on the time of day. Morning sex? A cup of coffee and waffles in bed may sound nice. Afternoon delight? Cheese, bread, and apples are all favorite staples. An evening shag? Pour a glass of wine and break off a piece of dark chocolate. At the end of the day, there are no 'rules' regarding what to eat and drink after or before sex, so have whatever the hell your heart desires. That will always be the right answer. You may even be one of those folks who enjoy some nice green to accompany the sexual afterglow. Read Those yummy feelgood neurotransmitters aren't just there to add an exquisite high to your conversations. If you want to imbibe in some literature whilst having an altered perception, you'll most likely find it quite enjoyable. That post-sex grin will be plastered on your face while you read with glee. We don't necessarily mean cracking open your copy of Hamlet. Fifty Shades of Grey became a best seller for a reason. Alternatively, forget the books entirely and grab that magazine or the newspaper funnies you've been meaning to attend to. Turn on the T.V. There's a reason Netflix and Chill rose to stardom. T.V.s and computer screens have a funny way of finding themselves directly in front of your bed and other places of lounging...and consequently fornicating. So rewind that movie or show you put on right before you made your move, or flick it on for the first time. Like reading, your mood and consecutive outlook on life will affect how you view said movie or t.v. show. In other words, your