@crestingthehill
Leanne | CtH
Hi I'm Leanne, I blog at www.crestingthehill.com.au - where it's about replacing Midlife Crisis with Midlife Connection and Contentment
Confidence ≠ Arrogance -Recently I wrote a guest blog post, Thriving Requires Letting Go of the Lies, for Sue’s Over Fifty and Thriving series. The idea for that post was inspired by the book, Girl, Wash Your Face, by Rachel Hollis (my review here). I have since decided to turn the subject into a new blog series: The Lies I’ve Believed.  In the original guest post, I introduced Delilah, my harsh inner critic who constantly reminds me I am not good enough, brave enough or smart enough. Her loud, commanding voice tells me I am better off alone than out in the world pursuing my dreams. She is quite convincing. But I’m tired of living this way. I’m merely existing rather than embracing an abundant life. It is time to replace Delilah’s lies with the truth. This week’s lie: Confidence is arrogance and conceit. Sometimes it is the seemingly insignificant events of life that have the greatest impact. Case in point… I enjoyed instrumental music throughout my school years. I started piano lessons in second grade and then transitioned to flute in sixth grade. I can’t say I enjoyed practicing, but I did like progressing in my studies. I did the work because I wanted the results. When I entered high school in ninth grade, we had to audition for our place in concert band. Because of my previous years studying piano, as well as my routine of daily practice, I placed first chair. I didn’t think much of it, and if truth be told, I was petrified of the possibility of a flute solo. About a month later one of the percussionists in the band – the one whom I secretly had a secret crush for months – starting chatting with me. In the midst of the innocent conversation he asked, “Are you the best flute player?” I froze. I didn’t want to appear conceited and immediately respond, “Yes.” But I also wanted to uphold the truth. I auditioned for the spot and earned first chair. How was I supposed to answer this question? In my shy, socially awkward way, I think I said something like, “Well, I’m first chair so I guess so.” I don’t remember much after that … except for the laughing, finger-pointing, and mocking response at my perceived arrogance. I learned that day that I should never take credit for any talent I may possess. I should always downplay any achievement. After all, who do I think I am?! Thirty years later I discovered this is not an acceptable response either. Self-deprecation is as offensive as arrogance. And perhaps just as prideful. I downplayed any compliment, reasoning anyone can do what I do. I shunned recognition for personal success, immediately identifying all imperfections and false starts.  Delilah fed me the lines and I reiterated them. Recently, I’ve come to realize… I admire confident women. They recognize their strengths without over-inflating their worth. They walk with their heads high and shoulders squared. They look others in the eye and speak with authority. The command respect. They are quick to offer their gifts and talents for the good of the community. Confident women also recognize their weaknesses without dwelling on them. They network with others who can help shore up these insufficiencies. They don’t feel stupid, unworthy, or foolish. They accept themselves without harsh criticism and with a healthy dose of self-love. Confidence may just be my one-little-word for 2019. The truth: Confidence is accepting who you were meant to be.
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Send Some Joy This Holiday SeasonThis post is sponsored by Basic Invite but the content and opinions expressed here are my own. One of my favorite things about the holiday season is all the different cards we receive from old friends and family. This is the first year we will be sending out Christmas cards and I wanted to make sure everything was perfect. When it comes to Christmas cards store bought ones can fall a little flat but searching online can be time consuming.  This year we got our Christmas cards from BasicInvite.com. Basic Invite has so many options but not an overwhelming amount. One reason I chose to get our cards from Basic Invite is because they offer almost unlimited color options to customize your card and make it your own. With an instant preview, I was able to play with a lot of different color options and choose what fit our family best. Not only can you customize the colors on your cards but you can also choose a custom colored envelope. We stuck with basic white this year but totally might branch out and get a bright red one next year. Not only can you customize the color of your envelope but Basic Invite offers free recipient address printing on all of their Christmas card orders so you don't have to write them yourselves! Holiday cards are something special and with Basic Invite you can create something that is not only full of holiday spirit but also showcases your family's style.  Right now you can save 30% on all holiday orders if you use code holi30 and with 500 cards to choose from and customize there is something everyone! This code works on all holiday orders including Christmas Party Invites, Antique Christmas Cards, and Custom Holiday Cards. Do you send holiday cards or will this be your first year doing so? Let me know in the comments below!
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Mindfulness Over Productivity -Recently I wrote a guest blog post, Thriving Requires Letting Go of the Lies, for Sue’s Over Fifty and Thriving series. The idea for that post was inspired by the book, Girl, Wash Your Face, by Rachel Hollis (my review here). I have since decided to turn the subject into a new blog series: The Lies I’ve Believed.  In the original guest post, I introduced Delilah, my harsh inner critic who constantly reminds me I am not good enough, brave enough or smart enough. Her loud, commanding voice tells me I am better off alone than out in the world pursuing my dreams. She is quite convincing. But I’m tired of living this way. I’m merely existing rather than embracing an abundant life. It is time to replace Delilah’s lies with the truth. This week’s lie: Multitasking is the key to productivity. A few weeks ago I shared how I once thought I just don’t know how she does it all was the ultimate compliment. I erroneously thought efficiency was the goal of life. That is, consistently cram as much as possible into a 24-hour period. I devoured Stephen Covey’s bestseller, First Things First, and immediately purchased a Franklin Covey Planner. I knew this system was the answer to a perfect life. If I woke up a little earlier, maintained a strict schedule, and squeezed in a few more productive minutes at the end of the day, I would be happy. But I wasn’t. So I tried harder. Multi-tasking was the prescription for a more productive life: Accomplish more in less in time. Find pockets of time where you can simultaneously accomplish two tasks. Don’t just empty the dishwasher, talk on the phone with a friend at the same time. Don’t just watch a DVD with your spouse, use that sitting time to complete next week’s lesson plan. Don’t run errands in silence, listen to a self-help book and learn something too. But rather than feel happier and more productive, I felt like a failure. I discovered I can’t split my focus. If I called a friend, I wanted to give her my undivided attention. If I watched a movie, I wanted to be fully present. If I found a few minutes to be alone in the car, I wanted silence to sort my thoughts. Some are wired for busy schedules. They thrive on the excitement of nightly events. They feel a rush each time they cross off an item on the to-do list. The more items on the list, the greater the sense of satisfaction. I am not one of those people. My anxiety kicks in when I have more than three events in a single week. I find myself operating on auto-pilot just to get through the week, rather than truly enjoying each moment. Delilah would have me believe that this is a flaw in my character. She calls me names such as lazy – selfish – irresponsible – unproductive. She urges me to get back on the hamster wheel and compete with everyone else. You’re not trying hard enough. Fortunately, I’ve discovered a new buzzword in this stage of midlife: Mindfulness. Mindfulness urges us to discard the distractions of multitasking. Instead, we need to fully embrace the present activity, such as washing the dishes… visiting a friend… embracing solitude. I am currently reading a new bestseller, The Bullet Journal Method by Ryder Carroll. While I adopted this planner/diary/journal system about two years ago, I knew I wanted to learn more. I love the adaptability of the system. If you want to use your artistic talents to create elaborate page layouts, this system allows for that. If, on the other hand, you just need a place to keep track of events and tasks, it is perfect for that as well. I am currently working my way through the book and sharing my notes on Instagram via a friend’s weekly meme: #bujobdg More importantly, however, the Bullet Journal Method is helping me learn to accept myself. Delilah is wrong. I am not lazy nor unproductive. Instead, I am learning to live an authentic life that brings me peace. The truth: Mindfulness allows you to find joy in the moment.
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