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“Mr. Pattersen!” Servo: New Jersey? ** Paterson is a city in New Jersey that was established in 1791. It is known as “Silk City,” as for many years the city produced half the silk made in the United States. ** MST3K 322: Master Ninja I“My brother was that close to putting a union in that cannery.” Crow: Then he became the president of Poland. 🇵🇱 Lech Walesa is a Polish labor organizer who helped found Poland’s first independent labor union and who later became... 🇵🇱 MST3K #324 - Master Ninja II"Kill him!” Crow: [As McAllister.] What, a Kirin? Uh, yeah, I could go for a Kirin! 🍺 Kirin is a Japanese beer that has been brewed for more than a century. The company also makes nonalcoholic beverages such as tea, coffee, and fruit juices. 🇯🇵 MST3K 322: Master Ninja IAll: [Sung.] Wonder Woman … Servo: [Sung.] Lyle Waggoner … ** The comic book heroine Wonder Woman, with her magic lasso that made people tell the truth, got her chance on the small screen in a 1970s TV series starring Lynda Carter... ** MST3K 322: Master Ninja IServo: He dresses like Sheila E. Sheila E. (real name Sheila Escovedo) is a musician and actress who began as a drummer in Minneapolis rocker Prince’s band and later branched out into her own solo career. @SheilaEdrummer  MST3K 322: Master Ninja ICrow: Henry: Portrait of a Serial Gerbil. ** Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer is a 1986 film about self-professed serial killer Henry Lee Lucas. The film is shot in a flat, semi-documentary style that makes the scenes of graphic violence... ** MST3K 322: Master Ninja IServo: Only you can prevent…car explosions. Smokey the Bear is the longtime spokescreature for the U.S. Forest Service. He was created in 1944 to preach the message of fire prevention, with the slogan “Only you can prevent wildfires.”  MST3K 322: Master Ninja I[Max grills cop to find name of accomplices.] “Who are they?” Servo: The New Monkees. ** The Monkees were a 1960s musical group that had their own TV show from 1966-1968. In 1987 a remake was attempted with four new young musicians... ** MST3K 322: Master Ninja ICrow: Oh, cripes, it’s those turtles! They moved next door! Now I’ll never get any sleep. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles began life as a spoof comic book created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. The comic... @TMNT  MST3K 322: Master Ninja IJoel: It’s Meat Loaf! Meat Loaf is a robust singer/songwriter who rocked in the 1970s and beyond with such songs as “Paradise by the Dashboard Light.” @RealMeatLoaf  MST3K #324 - Master Ninja II“When are you gonna let me take you dancing, Carrie?” Crow: When Welcome Back, Kotter is canceled. 📺 Welcome Back, Kotter was a TV series that aired from 1975 to 1979. It starred Gabe Kaplan as the teacher of a group called the Sweathogs... 🏫 MST3K #324 - Master Ninja II"I didn’t know McAllister was right behind me.” Servo: Alister McAlister? ** Possibly a reference to the conservative Democratic politician from California, who served from 1970-1986. This could also be Alastair McAllister... ** MST3K 322: Master Ninja IServo: Hey! Sho Kosugi! Is that the kind of thing you have with rice and a little nori wrapper … it’s, ah, food. Chinese food. ** Sho Kosugi is a well-known Japanese martial artist/actor who has starred in such films as Enter the Ninja (1981). ** MST3K 322: Master Ninja I“You’re saying Webster killed your brother?” Servo: Emmanuel Lewis killed her brother? 📺 Webster was a TV series about an ex-football player who adopts the orphaned son of an old teammate. The son, Webster Long, was played by the... 📺 MST3K #324 - Master Ninja II[Max orders pretty much the entire menu.] Crow: And, uh, two hard-boiled eggs. Servo: [Honks.] Crow: Make that three hard-boiled eggs. 📽️ In the Marx Brothers movie A Night at the Opera, Groucho orders dinner, including repeated requests... 📽️ MST3K #324 - Master Ninja IIJoel: [As McAllister.] Do you take Happenings coupons? ** Happenings is an annual coupon book sold in Minneapolis containing discounts for various area businesses. ** MST3K 322: Master Ninja I“Sit reading the classified ads in the motel until Dick Powell comes running down the television alley at midnight…” Joel: Ah, let Dennis Miller do Dennis Miller, Demi. ** Dennis Miller is an acerbic actor and comedian who has appeared on... ** MST3K 322: Master Ninja I[Sirens approach.] Servo: Someone’s broken ape law. “You’ve broken ape law” is a line from the 1968 film Planet of the Apes; it was a favorite catchphrase among the MST3K writers. Claude Akins [pictured here] played General Aldo in the...  MST3K 322: Master Ninja I[Voice Over PA system.] “Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.” Crow: [Stoner voice.] Do not take the green acid. As immortalized in the Woodstock film and double album recording, stage announcements at the 1969 Woodstock Music & Arts...  MST3K #324 - Master Ninja II[Voice over PA.] We’ve got entrants from all over the country. Servo: All over the world! ** An imitation of comedian and Denver radio personality Michael Floorwax. ** MST3K #324 - Master Ninja II“Too much of a financial strain in these hard times.” Crow: Hey, blame it on Ronald Reagan. ** Ronald Reagan (1911-2004) was president of the United States from 1981-1989 (The Master, a.k.a. Master Ninja, aired in 1984). Reagan faced... ** MST3K 322: Master Ninja I"It’s been a long time.” Crow: Since I rock and rolled? 🎶 A line from 1971 song “Rock and Roll” by Led Zeppelin. Sample lyrics: “It's been a long time since I rock and rolled/It's been a long time since I did the stroll... @ledzeppelin 🎶 MST3K #324 - Master Ninja IICrow: Look, I’m getting on that plane, and where I’m going, I can’t be with me, or… ✈️ HumphreyBogart Casablanca withhintofMontyPythonandTheHolyGrailguardscenethrownin 🎬 MST3K 322: Master Ninja IJoel: [As McAllister.] A man’s got to know his limitations, Clint. “A man’s got to know his limitations” from the 1973 film Magnum Force, with Clint Eastwood. Van Cleef co-starred with him in the 1966 western The Good, the Bad and the Ugly.  MST3K 322: Master Ninja ICrow: Quick—take a turn here on Stephen J. Cannell Boulevard! Stephen J. Cannell (1941-2010) was one of the most successful TV writers and producers of the 20th century. His hit shows include The Rockford Files, The A-Team, and Hunter...  MST3K 322: Master Ninja IServo: That’s right, it’s the Circus of the Second-Rate Stars! 📺 Circus of the Stars was an annual television special that ran from 1977 to 1991. It featured assorted actors performing traditional circus acts. pictured BrookeShields 📺 MST3K 322: Master Ninja I“Who are those guys?” “Assassins.” “Sent by Okasa?” Joel: Bob Costas? ** Bob Costas is an award-winning sportscaster; he has appeared on NBC since 1980. ** MST3K 322: Master Ninja IServo: Oh—he went to Outward Bound. 🧗‍♂️ Outward Bound is a group that offers “wilderness adventures” for kids, teens, and adults, although students are their primary focus. They promise to teach... 🚣 MST3K 322: Master Ninja I“We need a little more to bargain with.” Joel: We’ll send them Pink Lady and Jeff. ** Pink Lady and Jeff was a 1980 television series, widely considered one of the worst TV shows of all time. It starred comedian Jeff Altman and Japanese... ** MST3K 322: Master Ninja ICrow: You know, these Robert Bly weekends are getting more and more intense. ** Poet Robert Bly’s 1990 book Iron John: A Book about Men spawned the men’s movement of the 1990s, in which men gathered for “workshops” to beat drums and explore... ** MST3K 322: Master Ninja I“You have a hearing problem?” “My hearing is excellent.” Joel: ‘Cause I have the Whisper 2000. The Whisper 2000 was a hearing aid sold by mail order during the '90s; it claimed it would allow the owner to hear conversations up to...  MST3K #324 - Master Ninja IIMax:: [Dejectedly.] “Good luck finding your daughter.” Crow: Go to bed, old man! From the MST3K ACEG: “Another hopelessly insular reference, this is an homage to comedian Dana Gould. It is directly from his act.” @danagould  MST3K 322: Master Ninja I“And there’s Carrie Brown coming up fast on the inside.” Crow: And there’s Linda Ronstadt behind ‘em on roller skates! Linda Ronstadt is an American pop singer who hit her peak of popularity during the 1970s with such hits...  MST3K #324 - Master Ninja IIJoel: Is that Mrs. O’Leary’s barn? According to tradition, the Great Chicago Fire of 1871 was started when a cow owned by one Cate O’Leary kicked over a kerosene lantern in her barn. The fire eventually consumed some 18,000...  MST3K 322: Master Ninja I“My friend behind you, you know, the one dressed in black, with the samurai sword?” Crow: Louise Nevelson? ** Louise Nevelson (1899-1988) was a Russian-born American sculptor known for her jagged, abstract works in metal and wood. Most of her... ** MST3K 322: Master Ninja ICrow: Demi Moore?! I’ve dreamed of her running out of the woods into MY Chevy van! ** Demi Moore is an actress, a member of the Brat Pack in the 1980s who later became known largely for her willingness... ** MST3K 322: Master Ninja ICrow: William Katt, Freddie Mercury. Blond, curly-haired William Katt's an actor best known for playing title role in TV series The Greatest American Hero (1981-1983). Freddie Mercury (1946-1991) sang lead for the British rock band Queen.  MST3K #324 - Master Ninja IICrow: A Garden Weasel! 🧑‍🌾 The Garden Weasel is a gardening tool that has been advertised on television for years (it was introduced in 1976). It is a cultivator designed to break up soil and root up weeds, preparing the ground for planting... 👩‍🌾 MST3K #324 - Master Ninja II“Take my hand.” Joel: I’m a stranger in paradise. 🎶 A reference to “Stranger in Paradise” which is a popular song from the musical Kismet. Sample lyrics: “Take my hand/I’m a stranger in Paradise/All lost in a wonderland/A stranger in Paradise.” 🎶 MST3K 322: Master Ninja ICrow: It’s Claude Akins, and he’s got his ape mask…oh, no, that’s just Claude. GeneralAldo BattleforthePlanetoftheApes  MST3K 322: Master Ninja IServo: Ossie Davis? ** Ossie Davis (1917-2005) was a Black actor, director, and activist who found recognition late in life acting in a number of Spike Lee’s films. He was also active in the civil rights movement. ** MST3K #324 - Master Ninja IIJoel: I hope Stephen J. Cannell is in that car. 📺 Stephen J. Cannell (1941-2010) was one of the most successful TV writers and producers of the 20th century. His hit shows include... 📺📺📺📺📺📺 MST3K 322: Master Ninja IServo: Hooker’s a good cop! 📺 One of the writers’ favorite phrases, this is a reference to the 1980s cop show T.J. Hooker, which aired from 1982-1986. It starred William “Star Trek” Shatner and Heather “Melrose Place” Locklear. 📺 MST3K #324 - Master Ninja II“We’ve had a break-in.” Joel: Uh, they were dressed as plumbers. 🪠 During the bad old days of the Nixon White House, there was a team of shadowy operatives known as the Plumbers (because they were in charge of stopping leaks). They... 🧑‍🔧 MST3K #324 - Master Ninja IIServo: Mendozaaaaa! A line from the animated TV series The Simpsons, yelled by movie action hero McBain about his nemesis, Senator Mendoza. @TheSimpsons  MST3K #324 - Master Ninja IICrow: [TV Announcer Voice.] Clu ‘Gallagher’ Is … [Normal voice.] that character I can’t think of. ** From the MST3K ACEG: “For this whole show we referred to Clu Gulager as ‘Clu Gallagher.’ We never noticed how wrong we were until Show 614... ** MST3K 322: Master Ninja IServo: Hey, look, it’s Francis Ford Coppola. ️ Francis Ford Coppola is a highly respected film director known for such classic movies as The Godfather and Apocalypse Now. ️ MST3K #324 - Master Ninja IIJoel: It’s Over the Top! 🦾🦾 Over the Top is a 1987 movie starring Sylvester Stallone as a champion arm wrestler trying to reconnect with his estranged son. 💪💪 MST3K 322: Master Ninja ICrow: [Announcer voice.] Grantsburg, Wisconsin. Workers chafing under the spiked heel of capitalism. ** Grantsburg is a tiny town in Burnett County, Wisconsin, population about 1,400. ** MST3K #324 - Master Ninja IIJoel: Clarence, the cross-eyed ninja. 🦁 Clarence, the Cross-Eyed Lion is a 1965 family film about a lion that is unable to hunt because of his crossed eyes; he is adopted by the daughter of a veterinarian. 🎬 MST3K 322: Master Ninja I“Max, get the money.” Crow: Sure thing, Mr. H. 📺 An imitation of Lionel Stander (1908-1994), who played a different Max than our pal Timothy Van Patten here, a gravelly-voiced butler on the TV series Hart to Hart, which aired from 1979-1984. 📺 MST3K 322: Master Ninja IServo: Without-a-Clu ‘Gallagher’. 📺🎬 actor director itsGulager lager likebeer :) [Guessing his two sons like their last name.] 😄 📺🎬 MST3K 322: Master Ninja IServo: Oh, Joe Boston. He only puts out one movie every ten years. The band Boston is known for only releasing an album every eight or so years. After their self-titled 1976 debut album, they released Don't Look Back two years later...  MST3K #324 - Master Ninja IIJoel: All right—Coltrane Live in Japan. John Coltrane (1926-1967) was a jazz saxophonist who released dozens of albums over his short career. The writers are referring here to his 1966 album John Coltrane Live in Japan.  MST3K 322: Master Ninja IJoel: He looks like one of Henson’s rats. Servo & Crow: [Laughs.] Jim Henson (1936-1990) was a puppeteer and creator of the Muppets, the half-puppet, half-marionette creatures who appeared on Sesame Street and The Muppet Show. One was Rizzo the Rat. MST3K 322: Master Ninja I[Thugs pull up in Jeep in front of McAllister.] Crow: [As thug.] You took the last Tahitian Treat, old man. 🧃 Tahitian Treat is a fruit-punch-flavored carbonated soft drink manufactured by Dr Pepper Snapple Group. 🧃 MST3K #324 - Master Ninja IIServo: Niagara Falls. Slowly I turned—inch by inch, step by step … This phrase comes from an old vaudeville routine that has been used by many comedians, including Abbott and Costello, the Three Stooges, and I Love Lucy. The author...  MST3K 322: Master Ninja I[Background music has a familiar quality.] Joel: [Sung.] Tumble out of bed and stumble to the kitchen…pour myself a cup of ambition ... A line from the Dolly Parton song “9 to 5,” the theme song to the 1980 movie of the same name... 9⃣2⃣5⃣ MST3K 322: Master Ninja I[McAllister is lifeless on the ground.] “He’s dead.” Crow: You killed him. Crow & Servo: Hail Dorothy! ️ “Hail to Dorothy!” is what the guards and monkeys shout after she disposes of the Wicked Witch of the West in The Wizard of Oz. ️ MST3K #324 - Master Ninja IICrow: She’s got a Landers sister quality. ** Judy and Audrey Landers were blond actresses who did a series of guest appearances on various television shows during the 1980s. ** MST3K #324 - Master Ninja IIServo: Pearl Drops—mmmmm. 🦷 Pearl Drops is a whitening toothpaste that uses the slogan “Mmmm … it’s a great feeling.” Ads in the 1970s & ‘80s had people passing their tongue weirdly over their teeth, reveling in their white smoothness. 🪥 MST3K #324 - Master Ninja II“Whatever happened to …” Joel: Baby Jane. ️ What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? is a film about a former child actress (Bette Davis) with a grudge against her wheelchair-bound sister (Joan Crawford). ️ MST3K #324 - Master Ninja II[Max leaves the room.] Joel: [As McAllister.] Say hi to Dick. ** Dick Van Patten (1928-2015) was a veteran actor known for playing the father on TV series Eight Is Enough, which aired from 1977-1981. Half brother to "Max" Timothy Van Patten. ** MST3K 322: Master Ninja I

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